If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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