if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
did you just send me my own nude
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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