I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
