dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
