i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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