This girl is more easily done than said...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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