New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
