My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
