i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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