Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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