I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
