Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
