Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
