Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
