I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
