Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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