just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize