the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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