found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
