New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
