i just had sex bonerless
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
