I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize