Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
