Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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