He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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