I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
