Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

We're like a lot better than the average bears

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(678): View more from Georgia

Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.

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(407): View more from Florida

so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all

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(305): View more from Florida

He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.

(904): View more from Florida

FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift

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(707): View more from California

He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.

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(727): View more from Florida

The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy

(813): View more from Florida

HE'S NOT INVITED!!!

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(720): View more from Colorado

Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.

(303): View more from Colorado

Twice?!

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