She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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