Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'll bet she douches with gravy.

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(937): I'll bet she douches with gravy. http://tfl.nu/j4az

Replies (6) Good night (609) Bad night (3119)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?

(201): View more from New Jersey

obviously you're part succubus.

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(609): Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf? (201): obviously you're part succubus. http://tfl.nu/sqeb

Replies (8) Good night (2373) Bad night (743)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.

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(630): I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore. http://tfl.nu/o0ab

Replies (25) Good night (1363) Bad night (2958)
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(540): View more from Virginia

LETS GO REDSKINS!

(276): View more from Virginia

Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.

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(540): LETS GO REDSKINS! (276): Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday. http://tfl.nu/15rh

Replies (25) Good night (5225) Bad night (810)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?

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(919): Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus? http://tfl.nu/9yje

Replies (22) Good night (783) Bad night (4024)
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(631): View more from New York

There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12

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(631): There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12 http://tfl.nu/d4y2

Replies (27) Good night (5109) Bad night (1485)
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(206): View more from Washington

Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.

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(206): Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year. http://tfl.nu/dota

Replies (4) Good night (2874) Bad night (895)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?

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(973): I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night? http://tfl.nu/cbpu

Replies (8) Good night (6680) Bad night (880)
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(907): View more from Alaska

On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face

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(907): On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face http://tfl.nu/k6gh

Replies (3) Good night (1443) Bad night (732)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.

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(910): Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started. http://tfl.nu/ywdk

Replies (1) Good night (1359) Bad night (533)
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(206): View more from Washington

college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars

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(206): college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars http://tfl.nu/qdtl

Replies (9) Good night (1402) Bad night (717)
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(812): View more from Indiana

He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet

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(812): He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet http://tfl.nu/4ir7

Replies (7) Good night (2477) Bad night (683)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?

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(919): What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room? http://tfl.nu/ulxd

Replies (4) Good night (1201) Bad night (374)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?

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(520): Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!? http://tfl.nu/m57n

Replies (3) Good night (653) Bad night (368)
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(954): View more from Florida

When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.

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(954): When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex. http://tfl.nu/36q6

Replies (4) Good night (1101) Bad night (167)

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