Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?