Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
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You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.