Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm going to jail i love you

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  (703): I'm going to jail i love you http://tfl.nu/f32n
  Replies (16) Good night (1210) Bad night (1687)
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  (914): View more from New York

  We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.

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  (914): We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor. http://tfl.nu/1mpx
  Replies (26) Good night (6148) Bad night (764)
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  (805): View more from California

  Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.

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  (805): Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win. http://tfl.nu/velv
  Replies (25) Good night (5565) Bad night (1241)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.

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  (601): A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first. http://tfl.nu/xh2t
  Replies (18) Good night (4665) Bad night (1391)
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  (707): View more from California

  I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.

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  (707): I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/uhpk
  Replies (26) Good night (4501) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?

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  (410): How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila? http://tfl.nu/957o
  Replies (17) Good night (2586) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  hungover and i feel like a burrito

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  like eating one or like you are one?

  (850): View more from Florida

  like i am one.

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  (850): hungover and i feel like a burrito (1-850): like eating one or like you are one? (850): like i am one. http://tfl.nu/h242
  Replies (10) Good night (2405) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.

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  (850): I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in. http://tfl.nu/gea0
  Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (1557)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.

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  (410): Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes. http://tfl.nu/1wpu
  Replies (12) Good night (1229) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse

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  (650): Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse http://tfl.nu/az1s
  Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.

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  (574): I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever. http://tfl.nu/zs85
  Replies (7) Good night (454) Bad night (1459)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...

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  (514): It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time... http://tfl.nu/8j5m
  Replies (2) Good night (615) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?

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  (315): In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise? http://tfl.nu/go2f
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.

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  (815): We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human. http://tfl.nu/xn06
  Replies (8) Good night (305) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt

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  (860): I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt http://tfl.nu/f4bb
  Replies (3) Good night (213) Bad night (394)

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