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• (707): View more from California

  Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (559): View more from California

  And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  We were fucking at break-dick speeds.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (716): View more from New York

  BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.

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• (212): View more from New York

  You're the only person not starstruck by him

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.

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• (845): View more from New York

  So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now

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