I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
