can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
