This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
