I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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