Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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