I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
