she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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