STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
