haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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