i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
