Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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