Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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