we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
