i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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