It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
wow bdsm is so cute
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
