Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
