he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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