I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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