Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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