Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
