What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
