Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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