There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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