Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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