giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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