no, he came in my armpit
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
