dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
