that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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