I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
