Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
