Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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